Interesting. I asked my 7th grade English class (I teach English one period a day - I love English) to write an essay about what freedom meant to them. What does it mean, today, in 2010, to be - free?
So a lot of them wrote about the Holocaust, and about the Spanish Inquisition and some even wrote about America being a democracy and all that and how we're free to practice our religion and keep Shabbos without being afraid, etc, etc. The essays were pretty good, overall.
But it got me thinking, and I never thought of it this way, but freedom can also be...scary. Let me explain.
I don't know if any of you felt this way, but the first time I moved out of home - I guess it was seminary, yeah - I felt this unbelievable freedom. For the first time in my life, I could really do anything I wanted, without anyone finding out. Have ice cream for breakfast. Completely skip studying for a test. Drive! That was amazing... the driving. One day a couple of friends and I decided to go to an amusement park and we get to the highway and my friend freaks out cuz she's never done highway driving before and I say, "Scoot over, I'll do it. I've driven on the highway dozens of times." And I took over.
That was my first time on a highway.
Anyway, I guess it was this idea of having nobody looking over your shoulder. For the first time ever, I was making choices all by myself. And the consequences would be only mine.
And that's the way its been for a while now. Married, living in my own home, for the most part I answer just to me.
But the truth is, and here's what I find scary, I am not really free. There's still G-d. And He is the one I have to answer to, have to account for every choice I make all day, every day, every minute. It's just harder now cuz He makes it look like I don't have anyone to answer to. No one asking me if I davened today, did I remember Rosh Chodesh, did I bentch? No teachers to remind me to learn, to have kavannah, what the halachos are in the kitchen, in clothing, with lashon hara. I'm not really free at all.
And that's a good thing. Deep down I don't want to be free. What I want most in my life is to know that G-d is invested in me, cares about me, and wants me to follow His Torah so that He can continue to give me good. And the truth is, I want to be even less free than that. I want to continue to have to answer to my husband, my parents, my siblings and my children and my friends. I want to owe them and be owned by them. I want relationships with giving and taking, sharing and caring.
We all want people to care whether we ate breakfast or not, if we text while driving, did we remember to pack our children tzedakah and a mitzvah note and did we take our husband's shirts to the cleaners? And we want G-d to continue to care about us too, keeping us safe and continuing to give to us all that He does.
So we cleaned and cooked and traded recipes and we bought new clothes and new shoes and its all so fresh and springy and exciting but in the middle of that we have to remember that Monday night we're going to have a seder and we're going to say "Avadim Hayinu" that we were slaves and we were freed.
But not that free. G-d owns us. And you know, we wouldn't want it any other way.
 |
| From March |
What a sweet little girl. Gitty and her baby brother Bentzy are only 12 months apart. And while at 15 months, most toddlers aren't too cooperative in front of the camera, Gitty was so photogenic and adorable! Take a look at these...
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
Here's baby Bentzy, 3 months- you can just eat this little face up!
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
Along came Dovie for his before/after upsherin photos. His eyes are just so beautiful...
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
Here he was already getting a lot more comfortable with me and his true personality started coming out.
 |
| From March |
Oh, and he loved my bears. Well, naturally, his name is Dovie...
 |
| From March |
And... tada! Here's the transformation - Dovie after his haircut.
 |
| From March |
We put a few before/after composites together...here's one of them I designed...
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
Benny's an old friend of mine...also here for his preupsherin photos. We did his big brother Eliyahu's pictures two years ago and now its his turn! Benny was not at all camera shy...
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
The good news with this tiny one, is she is a newborn and that always means a pleasant shoot cuz I love newborns. The bad news was it took us about four different trips to the studio to get her to fall asleep... Ahh.. but she's adorable so it was worth it...
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
The Rokeach family was the lucky winner of the KMP shul's chinese auction last year and finally brought their little boy down for some photos. I'm the real winner though, cuz I absolutely love photographing redheads...
 |
| From March |
Yeah, you!
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
 |
| From March |
Have an absolutely wonderful, safe, healthy, majestic and magical yom tov everybody! L'shana Haba'a B'Yerushalayim!
